Over it
My addiction to coffee a year ago would have needed an intervention. These days I have one or two cups a day, but the fact of the matter remains, I can't start my day without a cup of coffee. Now that begs the question, is coffee just simply part of my routine or is it something I really truly like? I mean, I like coffee, a lot... but sometimes I wonder if it's because I have a cup of coffee every morning, that I'm having a cup of coffee. I shouldn't be giving this as much thought as I am right now, but I'm champion when it comes to over analyzing a bunch of nothing.I saw Rocky this weekend, haven't written about him, but this one's just another one who seems to be "passing through" - he came over on Saturday night and we watched a bit of Hansel & Gretel on Netflix and in the middle of it, he looks at his phone and says, "Gotta go. The basketball game is on." and leaves. At first I was speechless. Is this real? Did he just leave because of a basketball game? He texted me about an hour later saying that "they" won (Spurs) and that he was really sorry that he left so abruptly but he really wanted to see the game. I wasn't sure how I should feel about it. Like, what would other women do in this case? Do you overreact? Do you act nonchalantly? Stay passive? I didn't text him back and when he tried to make up for it by asking for another movie night last night, I told him no and that I was elsewhere with someone else and we were enjoying a movie together. My gut told me to do it, so I did. And he spent the whole afternoon apologizing in turn. I felt bad that I have reacted that way whilst he was so apologetic, but I can't help it, it was rather insulting. My brain interprets it as this: He and I are hanging out, and all of a sudden I'm like, "Omg, I have to go. The notebook is on." and I rush out of his place without saying anything else. I'm sure he'd have been like, "WTF!" because I sure was. So maybe I am laying it on too thick, but see, these are my "issues" - I don't know what's too much or too little and there's no rhyme or reason. Ugh!
It's beautiful out and I am sitting in this office having fits about these extremely miniscule matters but I wouldn't be me if I was passive about everything. Perhaps less is more, and I should just be appreciative that I know when to laugh at myself but on some real shit, I'm so over trying to sort out my train of thought. Over it!
written on 06/02/2014 at 12:07 P.M.
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