Mother nature is a bitch. There's no better description for her than that. For whatever reason, my hormones are always in a fkced up discombobulated state every time my period comes around and now I find myself praying for menopause (not so much the hot flashes).
J was released 2 Fridays ago, the very next day he was hospitalized for high blood sugar, and just 2 days ago he came down with the mother of all sore throats. Yesterday was my day to visit, but I had to make an early am pit stop at his mom's to get food that she was going to make him. I was going to meet his mom by myself, for the first time and I was a little nervous but I figured I could handle business. I got lost on the way there, but when I got to the parking lot of his building I saw his sister (very pretty) and I got out of the car and gave her a hug and said good morning to her. It was a quick exchange but what got to me was the fact that she asked me my name. What do you mean what is my name? It confused the living day lights out of me as to why she didn't know my name, and to make matters worse, I felt like it was J's fault. As soon as I got in the car I called him back and asked him why his sister doesn't know my name, he thought she was just joking, but NO - she looked me dead in my face and asked me what my name was. I went home cried and took a nap. When I woke up it was time for the drive, I got there and he was sick as a dog. Throat was indeed swollen & his ears were clogged up. We just sat there while I rubbed his neck and back and he hallucinated in and out of sleep. We hugged and I left. Then I went to work. And I was late. 20 minutes late too. I misread my schedule, which I normally don't do, but I did. Hormones, right?
I stopped at my mom's to eat and then went home, my show wasn't on, so I just went straight to bed and then went into a knockout fight with nightmares. My dreams were of so many random things, none making sense, but most of them giving me anxiety in my sleep. My heart probably raced the whole night. I woke up feeling good but now I am sitting here having a difficult time staying awake so I'm wondering if I ever went to sleep.
The year is going to end in 16 days and all I've accomplished so far is a new relationship and living alone, the headaches are still the same. I can't win.
11:45 A.M. - 12/15/2014