Easy Street
I saw Jose over the weekend and the visit was going well until we talked about him being released. I don't know why but part of me is irritated by how happy he is. Reason being is that I just get the feeling that this was all too easy for him therefore, going back will be all too easy as well. Fine, he's making the best with what he's been given... I get it. But wipe the fucking smile off your face. YOU'RE the reason you're in jail, do something about it.I said to him in anger that if he was to get locked up again that I don't think I could ride with him again, and he told me that I was being "corny" and that I had put a condition on our relationship. Well, fuck me - but although I willingly stood by his side, having a boyfriend in jail is like having a kid in college. I pay to talk to Jose, $3.90 for a fifteen minute phone call, everyday. I also pay for him to eat like a college kid (commissary is loaded with junk) and my transportation/gas tab is an extra $25 that I have to budget for that I never had to before I started visiting him. Can you tell I am housing resentment already? I mean, he didn't hold a gun to my head and tell me to be there for him but n the same note, wouldn't you be grateful and modest. I'd be thinking wow, I definitely don't want to be back in jail, but hey - that's just me.
written on 12/01/2014 at 8:33 A.M.
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