Why do insecurities do that? Haunt you even after you thought you exorcised them to nothingness? The worst part of being such a thoughtful individual is knowing when something doesn't feel right, or better yet, when I don't feel right. And that feeling unfolds into all kinds of waves of bad feelings. Feelings that are like demons, they eat you up alive, so brutally that when they are done, for the day, you are raw, naked and empty.
Empty.
At the end of the day, I can't allow myself to be ripped apart by those emotions. By those insecurities. And I can't Jim Jones myself into a black hole. No, I'm not going to drink the Kool-Aid. But man, is it tempting. I have to think about the future. About my little Maliah. Who is relying on me to be strong, so that she too, can be strong when it's her time to meet the world. I have to find a way - someway, somehow, to stop this haunting. It looks like I will have to be the hunter and I'll have to face my demon, one-on-one.
8:57 A.M. - 09/15/2015