My God.
I tried to write so many times but I really can't even get the words out. The last two weeks of my life have been pretty awful in short, and I am so ready for God to kind of step in and show me a way out.
This way please.
Two Wednesdays ago, my husband got arrested for breach of peace at a convenience store. He came out of work early (he says he had words with a superior and it pushed him over the edge) and he got a bottle of E & J and went to work on it. He was so gone. The signs were all there. He was either going to be violent or hard to restrain. I've lived this life before. There goes another notch on my belt. I got a pit in the middle of my stomach. I knew what this was. I knew what I was reliving. I sat in the gas station parking lots for 30 minutes before I realized what was happening. The cops showed up, and I knew. He was going to jail.
I felt a weird relief. But that's for another time.
Fast forward to this past Thursday. It's his day off. His probation officer gives him a pass, doesn't have to see him again until August 22nd --- he celebrates by having a near death experience. He overdoses on heroin. Right in front of my face. I had to call 911. The trauma of it all. And now...I'm so numb.
2:21 P.M. - 08/07/2019