I like pina coladas
Every single time that I have attempted to write about what's been going on, I failed. I would start to write and then midway get distracted by other things, either distracted or I just didn't really care enough to unwind my thoughts out of the spiral mess they have been in.So the briefly sum up the past three weeks: Great grandma Rose passed away on February 26th (ironically the same day I last wrote here), I kicked Lugo out last Thursday (for bringing P to my apartment and lying about it) only to have my soft spot throw up all over me and I had him come back four days later. The end result though is that he is going back to NY indefinitely in about a month. Things hit a huge wall with him being unable to function in a positive manner out here and I am better off on my own not taking care of anyone else. I thought I could help him, but he's not interested in helping himself. Not to mention he's wrapped up in the mess named P and that's never going to change. I don't have those love feelings for him that I had before but I do love him as a friend, and that's where that ends. I have been trying to date. And while they weren't bad dates, they weren't good ones either. I went on 3 dates in the last week and only really liked one guy. I dropped the other two immediately after the date. While the one I like is truly a gentleman I'm still trying to wrap my head around what I'm doing. I haven't exactly felt anything that yelled chemistry so I've been trying to tread lightly with him. I have been dodging him (shame on me) but moreso because Lugo is back and I feel funny having people over my apartment. Quite frankly, Lugo is putting a damper on my love life. I will be lonely when he leaves, but will feel better once he does. It's hard explaining why a man you are not sleeping with is taking residence in the living room of your one bedroom apartment.
On the work front my part time job has been leaving me sleepless. At least three nights a week I am getting off of work at midnight. Really hard to do that and then get up 5 hours later to go to my regular full time job. Can't complain because at least I have that "extra" money that's keeping me alive after all my bills are paid. Speaking of bills, they are never ending. The drama of my life is never ending. For once I'd like to be able to sip on a pina colada and enjoy rather than have my thoughts bubbles show me all the reasons why I can't afford it in the first place.
Sigh.
written on 03/21/2014 at 10:09 A.M.
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