Can I do this?
I am being such a hypocrite. While I am indulging in this "relationship" I am also thinking about how stupid I look. Not to myself, to other people. Can you really have one foot in the door and one foot out? My feelings for him have developed into something strong, I love Jo and care about him, so there's no confusion there, but I just worry about what's to come once he's out. He won't lie to anyone when asked about his past. I mean, if he's not ashamed, I don't expect him to lie but I know everyone will look at me like, Really M. A guy who went to jail?There's exactly one month, three weeks, and 2 days left. All of which will fly by so quickly. He's going to be on a bracelet which means he has a curfew and that means he's going to have to be home when most people are out and about. As his girlfriend, that means I will have to sacrifice some of my social life. I'm trying to find my footing in all of this, because I want to be there for him. I want to "hold him down" but it means giving up partial freedom. I am willing to do it, but the act of saying no is going to be a hard pill to swallow. The things we do, for love.
written on 10/14/2014 at 10:00 A.M.
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