Not like this

written on 08/26/2016 at 7:48 P.M.

You want to talk about how life ain't fair? He keeps bringing up the whole "cheating" thing - ya, I know that talking to other guys isn't a good idea, there's no way to justify it. But I guess I have to be prepared to deal with it head on. Being in a relationship is hard, being in a relationship with a felon is hard, being in a relationship with a felon who is now your child's father is the hardest shit I've ever had to endure in my whole and she's not even 8 months old yet. My daughter is my gift. She brings me happiness like nothing ever has, but I still want that mushy love stuff. I guess I have to deal with the insults, I guess it's not going to heal itself the way I imagine it to, but bottom line is this: this is so stressful. I am surprised that at my age I don't have more grey hairs or wrinkles and at the rate that I am going, I will have them pretty soon. I just want to feel better about myself. I just want to. I've even been considering a gastric sleeve, or something. I'm so tired of feeling at the mercy of my insecurities. Too afraid to leave, too much to lose not to. I want this man, but not like this.

You heard it first,

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